This 4 blog series discusses the horrific parts of the job search process called the Resume (Part 1), Networking (Part 2), Interviewing (Part 3), and a surprise topic (Part 4).

Interviewing


It’s Like the Worst First Date Ever!

  • What if I fart?
  • Did I forget to put on underwear?
  • Am I babbling?
  • Suite, slacks, pant suite, jeans, tie, no tie, NAKED?
  • How do I start the conversation?
  • Am I babbling?
  • Am I sitting up straight?
  • Am I babbling?
  • Do I have food on my mouth?
  • How is my breath?
  • Am I babbling?

How You Really Want to Answer the Questions

If we could only be HONEST:

  • Tell me about yourself:
    • I need a fuc****  job
  • Walk me through your resume
    • It’s in front of you, idiot!
  • Why did you leave your last job?
    • My boss was an as**ole
  • What is your greatest weakness?
    • 20 years of psychoanalysis and I still don’t know
  • What is your greatest strength?
    • Lovemaking, at least according to ME
  • Why do you want to work for our company?
    • See first answer
  • What makes you unique?
    • I can burp the alphabet, twice
  • Will you fit into the culture here?
    • I don’t know, do you serve beer Monday mornings?
  • Do you have any questions for me?
    • I am too fuc**** tired at this point
  • We will get back to you shortly
    • I’ll be dead by then

Next Week is the Secret Topic!

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