Introduction

Yes, it’s our annual top 5 Seinfeld quotes and how you can apply them to speed your job search 3x faster. You know them, don’t be ashamed to admit it!

  • “A Festivus for the rest of us!”
  • “Not that there’s anything wrong with that.”
  • “Yada yada yada”
  • “No soup for you!”
  • “Shrinkage”

Jerry Seinfeld and Larry David didn’t write and produce 180 Seinfeld episodes to delight millions, make tons of money, and establish themselves as the best of the best.  They produced Seinfeld to help us get the right job 3x faster.

Shrinkage

Do job searchers know about shrinkage? They know, but they forget.  Maybe that’s worse than not knowing?

You hit those job boards hard. Applying on company websites for positions that fit you perfectly is so easy and sexy.  Maybe Bob your neighbor got you into Goldman Sachs because he knows the head of Fixed Income Trading. You gain some serious momentum.

You have the following interview schedule coming up:

  • 5-first rounds with Google, AWS, JP Morgan, Blackrock, and Citi
  • 2-second rounds with Stripe and Facebook
  • 1 all-day round with Goldman

You slow your job search since you have incredible momentum, and everything is solid and looking up (opposite of shrinkage). You think “Let’s see how these interviews go before pressing on with my job search”.

Wham! Over the course of 2 weeks, every interview fell through or was placed on perma-hold.

The moral of the story: You can prevent shrinkage even if it looks like things are going your way. Never, ever stop pushing that job search pedal, even if it looks like you have a Lamborghini waiting at the dealer.  Until it’s in your garage, it doesn’t exist.

Yada yada yada

It what your dog hears when you give him detailed instructions on how not to chew everything. It’s noise, friction, negative energy. It’s what your kids hear when you ask them to clean up their room.

This famous expression is what an interviewer hears after you exceed 2 minutes in your answer to any question. When my very first client asked me to critique his “Tell me about yourself”  answer that lasted 10 minutes, he had to wake me up.

Use a bunch of fancy words without tangible examples? Talk mostly about experiences from 5+ years ago? Talk about what your team did without explaining what your individual contributions were: yada, yada, yada. No job for you!

No soup for you!

If you don’t follow the rules of the soup line, you end up hungry. No matter how good your intentions or how polite you ask, nada (famous cousin of yada).

Running around calling all your best contacts without having fully thought through what exact roles you want? Deciding upon a career shift but not asking people doing those new jobs for advice? Throwing your resume into the hat for 60 jobs you saw on LinkedIn or Indeed?

Like in soup, you must follow a strategic customized plan. First really think through what job could make you happy, that you can be proud of. Research that job and make sure you have or can get the qualifications.

Then, look at 5 job descriptions for the positions you want. Create a resume tilted towards those job descriptions.  Do the same for your LinkedIn profile, network with alumni from your school or former employers, then interview like a champ.

You will then have more soup than you can fit in your freezer.

Not that there’s anything wrong with that

The problem is there is something wrong with that. Have a zoom interview where your camera angle looks up or down at the interviewer? Have 4 or more bullets in a row on your resume when recruiters only read 3? Start your resume off with a paragraph of your goal or life summary when recruiters will just skip it?

Yes, there’s something wrong with that.

Move first when asked for your salary request? When asked where you want to be in 5 years do you say “Retired”? When asked “Walk me through your resume” and you answer “Why, it’s right in front of you?”

Yes, there’s something wrong with that.

Job search is like Monopoly. Learn and follow the rules better than your opponents, and you will win.

Yes, there’s something right with that.

A Festivus for the rest of us!

Nothing to do with job search.  I just needed a 5th quote.

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