Ok.  It’s a miniature; its’ not even mine, saw it in a store.

  • Not even a professional photographer; it was my nephew;
  • Picture of me is at least real (I know, you thought I was better looking!)

However, what I do own is advice and perspective of a guy who has been around the job block.

5 essential job skills to nail that dream job 

5 key, essential, incredibly important, necessary, spot on, do it now, really really listen job search lessons:

  1. Please network
  2. See #1 above
  3. See #1 above
  4. See #1 above
  5. See #1 above
  6. Here is the bonus you paid for…
    1. “See #1 above”

Get it?

Job boards and company websites contain 30% of all jobs, and half are already filled internally.  Got it!

I have a 100-year (seems like it) history of getting, losing and getting jobs. All of it was through networking.

Don’t get me wrong, I HATE NETWORKING.

Everybody come chant Kirtan with me “I HATE NETWORKING”

  • Calling up that guy I used to work with 5 years ago, who I think liked me (could be wrong!!) and ask for a favor?
    • Shoot me!
  • Finding out that investment bank down the street has a job, and I once played Oboe in school with the hiring manger?
    • Oh, yea, that’s easy considering I had a crush on her (4th grade)
  • Finding out your former girlfriend is the hiring manager for your dream job at Goldman or Google?
    • Who has the guts to do this?

Putting yourself out there as a job seeker is so embarrassing and weird.  Why?

  1. I need to admit weakness that I am looking for a better job since mine sucks (time to blame my parents)
  2. I don’t have a job, and that is painful enough, never mind admitting to someone else (time to blame my ex-wife)
  3. My boss will find out (ironically, he is looking too!)
  4. I don’t have the energy (time to blame my diet)
  5. I should have retired 5 years ago with my other colleagues who are now enjoying life in Tahiti (time to blame everyone)

I used to hide behind job boards and company websites; so easy yet dangerous.

  • It’s like… candy that gives you the immediate high, but leaves its marks on your stomach or hips
  • It’s like… prostitution that well, nothing ever good came of that
  • It’s like… getting drunk so you have the guts to approach that woman/man in the bar and throwing up on them
  • It’s like… well we covered sex, food and alcohol, as Forrest Gump would say “I have nothing more to say about that”

Why is networking so important?  Why is eating important?

As we close out 2018, I want to give gratitude to you my readers who support this crazy, mixed up and repressed career coach trying to make a difference in the word.